I’ve been sitting quite a bit lately with the realization of how hard it can be to create balance.
Managing business commitments, spending time with my family, taking care of myself, keeping up with friends and still finding time to just shut off and “do nothing” is stressful. Even in those moments of stillness, I find myself sitting with a constant baseline anxiety.
All too often “killing it” in one area comes at the expense of another — which then creates more anxiety. All of these things are fundamental to the person I want to show up and be but how do I find space for it all?
In my constant experimentations with maintaining balance, I’ve been trying 3 things as of late:
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Give myself space to NOT do something.
This sounds simple in theory (at least for me) but it’s proven to be much more nuanced.
It’s involved shifting that voice in my head from one of “You’re a bad person because you didn’t get up at 5:30AM to meditate” to “Your meditation practice has really transformed your life and, as long as you’re committed to it as a lifestyle, enjoy sleeping in today”.
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Identifying myself as a type of person who does …
Reframing my identity around a commitment, a non-negotiable if you will, helps me to create space for it.
I get up and meditate in the morning because it makes me much less irritable through the day and I’m more effective in my work”.
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Set the Bar Low.
Running with the meditation example, I try and sit for 10 minutes a day. Do I sit for 15 or 20 minutes some days — yes.
Do I sit for 5 minutes, others — absolutely!
None of these commitments are so overwhelming that the resistance kicks in and I find myself “not having time”.
Setting a low bar, at times, is better than no bar.
This is very much all experimentation but I’ve found them useful for tapping into all sorts of willpower and have been finding it easier to manage “all the things”.
Unrelated, But Something My Kids Taught Me
My 6 year old Atlas has always been a social creature and I’m in awe of his ability to immediately make friends pretty much anywhere he goes.
As someone who has consistently fluctuated between ENTP & INTP my whole life, I fully appreciate the struggle of talking to strangers, and I asked him his secret.
“It’s easy, dad, when we get to the playground I find a kid that I think I’ll like and I just follow them around until they talk to me and then we’re friends.”
Food For Thought
Are there 1 or 2 little things you can integrate into your life that help create balance?